If I’m being perfectly honest, I can’t think of one person on earth who doesn’t have some cloud of some kind hanging around the celebration of Mother’s Day. For some it’s so large and dense that the sunshine doesn’t have a chance to peek through. For others it’s a floating little reminder on a clear day that someone you love is still in your heart and thoughts. And, of course, all the formations in between. I would like to take a moment to do a little shout out to all those with different mother’s day clouds- both large and small.
To the mom with the strained mother/ child relationship:
You might be grieving that your child won’t talk to you, won’t listen to you, is always upset with you and/ or keeps making horrible decisions that are having an impact on your and their future.
These impacts can be devastating. The strain on the relationship can take months, years, or even decades to resolve. I see you, mama, crying in despair with unconditional love for your child. I see you not wanting to get out of bed in the morning and obsessing over every single thing you might have done wrong as a parent to make your child feel or act this way. I see your cries to the Lord for help, strength, and wisdom. I love you. I’m praying for you, especially this Mother’s Day.
To the child who has a strained relationship with their mother:
It could be that you messed up and she won’t forgive you. It could be a misunderstanding that you are both having a hard time navigating around. Maybe your mom is just a terrible person, completely void of love and understanding. Or it could be that things were once awesome and then all of a sudden they weren’t and you don’t know why. Feeling a lack of love from your mother can manifest in an identity crisis, self worth re-evaluation, and there’s this constant, in-explainable need to figure out how to make her happy and proud of you. Whether you’re talking and staying in touch or there’s no communication at all, it’s a constant battle that’s all too real. I love you and I’m praying for you this Mother’s Day.
To those whose mom is no longer on earth:
I truly can’t imagine the heartache you must be feeling on this day. Regardless of whether or not you parted ways on earth on good or bad terms, there’s something indescribable about the knowledge your mom is just not there.
If things were bad when she passed, you might be living with guilt or questions and you can’t stop thinking about it. The hardest part is knowing there’s nothing you can do to fix it now. I hope you find peace and acceptance in knowing that God’s plan is perfect and you can move on in comfort. If your mom passed, and you had an amazing relationship, I can’t imagine how much you must miss her. When you’re close to your mom and talking to her makes everything better, being with her is your biggest comfort, and her existence is a core part of your daily life, that void must be so great you don’t feel like you can cope most days. I’m grieving with you, and praying for you this Mother’s Day.I hope you find peace and acceptance in knowing that God’s plan is perfect and you can move on in comfort. If your mom passed, and you had an amazing relationship, I can’t imagine how much you must miss her. When you’re close to your mom and talking to her makes everything better, being with her is your biggest comfort, and her existence is a core part of your daily life, that void must be so great you don’t feel like you can cope most days. I’m grieving with you, and praying for you this Mother’s Day.
To the mom who’s lost a child:
You may have lost a child due to an illness, freak accident, still birth, or miscarriage. To you I relate the most. You might have other children, you might have a completely empty nest but scars on your heart from repeated loss and unending pain. The thought of Mother’s Day and celebrating in any way can make you want to shut down and spend the day curled up in a ball. You’re filled with so many questions. “Why me? Why my baby? When will I ever hold my own child? Will I have to feel this way every single May while I watch other people post their pictures of their pregnancies and kids saying how blessed they are?”
The struggle is all too real. Especially when you’re in your child bearing years and all you want is to be a mommy. Jealousy isn’t always the struggle either. Typically you’re not wishing ill feelings or your same heartache on others. You’re just grieving for you and what could be and everything is a trigger and reminder that you don’t have that or that you lost it. I know for me, I am blessed with an amazing little one which I pray to never take for granted. But every single day (not just in May) I’ll have a literal ache in my arms for each of my other 7 babies that I miss so very much. I see you, grieving mama, and I love you and am praying for you.
To the gal out there who wants to be a mom:
I’m not talking about those who have had pregnancy loss. We just covered you above because you are still a mom. I’m talking about the “mom in spirit”. The mom who is mentally there but physically isn’t. The girl who’s been trying so hard and doing everything she can achieve motherhood.
You’ve seen all the doctors, you’ve tried all the bloodwork, shots, procedures, and transplants. You’ve tracked your temperature, cycle length, and tried to the point you are tired and don’t know when to stop trying- for both your sake and the sake of your marriage. I see your tears, your identity crisis, your sleepless nights, your countless hours of reading and research, and how you look at every child you see and ask yourself “will all this work ever pay off? Will I ever hold my own child?” I’m praying for you and I send love and hugs to you this Mother’s Day.
To the mom who is a mom to the child of another:
You’ve become a mama to another’s kids just by being a mentor/ aunt/ close friend/ neighbor/ teacher/ etc. in their life. You have no idea the influence and positivity you bring into the lives of those who needed a little extra love, guidance and help along the way. You might not even know it. You can have the same impact on another’s kids by being a positive influence and encourager that a mother can have on her own children. I don’t know if you have kids of your own or if you never did get that on earth. Regardless, being an emotional and/ or spiritual mother to those around you is something I feel like every woman has the power and ability to do and be a major force for good. I’m praying for you to find that kid that needs a little extra kindness and love in their life and that you have the wisdom to be influential.
To the mom who fosters or adopted:
It takes a lot of love and devotion to fully accept someone else’s child as your own. Regardless of whether or not you do it in temporary spurts as a foster mom or in a permanent way through adoption, you are amazing, inspiring, and commendable
for your heart, forbearance and commitment to giving a little person in need that love and a place to call home. That child may have come from a desperate mother that gave her child up out of sheer necessity and desire to do what’s best for her baby. It may have come from a home so devoid of love and basic care that you’re having to retrain this kid in all things basic even on accepting love. No matter the origin of this child you now call your own, you opened your heart and poured love on this child and showed Jesus in another way. I’m praying for strength as you embrace and raise this child and thrive off of this beautiful mother/ child relationship you get to enjoy even if it’s through unconventional methods.
To those who are celebrating Mother’s Day in the happiest of times:
It is going to sound super familiar when I say this but… Enjoy it! Sink into it. Embrace it to the full. You never know what the coming years will bring. Sometimes it takes knowing what others don’t have or are struggling with to fully appreciate what you have. Ya know the idea of living each day so you don’t look back with regrets? Same thing here. If you can, see your mom. See your kids. Celebrate the amazingness of not just motherhood but the joy and fulfillment of a healthy mother/ child relationship. This Mother’s Day, I’m rejoicing with you in the happiness of this amazing blessing and I pray you get to enjoy it for many, many more years to come!
No matter which of these people you may be this Mother’s Day, you are not forgotten. You are being prayed for and I’m sending you a virtual hug and much love! I hope each of you is blessed in a very special way this year and that next May your Mother’s Day is even more amazing than this one.
XOXOXO
Big Loss - Big Resolution 